- In a city like New York, there are so many ways to meet people (through get-togethers, social gatherings, gathering by interest/activities, even meetups in public gathering areas etc) tis a wonder that many are still single (of course not including the ones who are single by choice).  it is a GREAT city to be single, seriously.   but even more rewarding when you have the right one with you

- For most ppl I think there comes an age and time when you just have to branch out in the world, and extend the circle of influence/people you hang around with.  Or to explore the possibility of just dating different types of people.  Or doing different things than the usual.  Or to think about dating/relationships etc.  You hang out with the same group of ppl all the time, nothing new will ever happen.  Of course if everyone is all ok with the "incestuous" thang, then never mind

- On a related note, if you haven't dated for a loooong time and now you're like mid/late 20's...well what's the hold-up?  lolz.  Don't let ur game go stale.  It happens ALL the time.

- Everyone is capable of frequently meeting /dating new ppl if they so choose.  The one thing that stops this natural sociable process is yourself and your (imagined) inhibitions or walls that are put up from the past.  Don't get too hung up on old infatuations; you may be imagining things that aren't there now.  And then you fail to give someone new a chance to get to know you in that way.  People can tell when there is baggage even if no words are exchanged.  We can just tell.

- Socializing takes practice.  Get yourself OUT there!  Be a bit too outta the loop the more apprehensive one gets.  I've never regretted any spontaneous hello or conversation I have struck up with people.  Hell, either they like me or they don't..and who knows, maybe I'll end up *not* wanting to continue talking to them either, ha.

Can You Become a Creature of New Habits?

HABITS are a funny thing. We reach for
them mindlessly, setting our brains on auto-pilot and relaxing into the
unconscious comfort of familiar routine. “Not choice, but habit rules
the unreflecting herd,” William Wordsworth said in the 19th century. In
the ever-changing 21st century, even the word “habit” carries a
negative connotation.

So it seems antithetical to talk
about habits in the same context as creativity and innovation. But
brain researchers have discovered that when we consciously develop new
habits, we create parallel synaptic paths, and even entirely new brain
cells, that can jump our trains of thought onto new, innovative tracks.

Rather than dismissing ourselves as unchangeable creatures of
habit, we can instead direct our own change by consciously developing
new habits. In fact, the more new things we try — the more we step
outside our comfort zone — the more inherently creative we become, both
in the workplace and in our personal lives.

But don’t bother
trying to kill off old habits; once those ruts of procedure are worn
into the hippocampus, they’re there to stay. Instead, the new habits we
deliberately ingrain into ourselves create parallel pathways that can
bypass those old roads.

“The first thing needed for innovation is
a fascination with wonder,” says Dawna Markova, author of “The Open
Mind” and an executive change consultant for Professional Thinking
Partners. “But we are taught instead to ‘decide,’ just as our president
calls himself ‘the Decider.’ ” She adds, however, that “to decide is to
kill off all possibilities but one. A good innovational thinker is
always exploring the many other possibilities.”

All of us work
through problems in ways of which we’re unaware, she says. Researchers
in the late 1960s discovered that humans are born with the capacity to
approach challenges in four primary ways: analytically, procedurally,
relationally (or collaboratively) and innovatively. At puberty,
however, the brain shuts down half of that capacity, preserving only
those modes of thought that have seemed most valuable during the first
decade or so of life.

The current emphasis on standardized
testing highlights analysis and procedure, meaning that few of us
inherently use our innovative and collaborative modes of thought. “This
breaks the major rule in the American belief system — that anyone can
do anything,” explains M. J. Ryan, author of the 2006 book “This Year I
Will...” and Ms. Markova’s business partner. “That’s a lie that we have
perpetuated, and it fosters mediocrity. Knowing what you’re good at and
doing even more of it creates excellence.”

This is where
developing new habits comes in. If you’re an analytical or procedural
thinker, you learn in different ways than someone who is inherently
innovative or collaborative. Figure out what has worked for you when
you’ve learned in the past, and you can draw your own map for
developing additional skills and behaviors for the future.

“I
apprentice myself to someone when I want to learn something new or
develop a new habit,” Ms. Ryan says. “Other people read a book about it
or take a course. If you have a pathway to learning, use it because
that’s going to be easier than creating an entirely new pathway in your
brain.”

Ms. Ryan and Ms. Markova have found what they call three
zones of existence: comfort, stretch and stress. Comfort is the realm
of existing habit. Stress occurs when a challenge is so far beyond
current experience as to be overwhelming. It’s that stretch zone in the
middle — activities that feel a bit awkward and unfamiliar — where true
change occurs.

“Getting into the stretch zone is good for you,”
Ms. Ryan says in “This Year I Will... .” “It helps keep your brain
healthy. It turns out that unless we continue to learn new things,
which challenges our brains to create new pathways, they literally
begin to atrophy, which may result in dementia, Alzheimer’s
and other brain diseases. Continuously stretching ourselves will even
help us lose weight, according to one study. Researchers who asked
folks to do something different every day — listen to a new radio
station, for instance — found that they lost and kept off weight. No
one is sure why, but scientists speculate that getting out of routines
makes us more aware in general.”

She recommends practicing a Japanese technique called kaizen, which calls for tiny, continuous improvements.

“Whenever
we initiate change, even a positive one, we activate fear in our
emotional brain,” Ms. Ryan notes in her book. “If the fear is big
enough, the fight-or-flight response will go off and we’ll run from
what we’re trying to do. The small steps in kaizen don’t set off fight
or flight, but rather keep us in the thinking brain, where we have
access to our creativity and playfulness.”

Simultaneously, take a
look at how colleagues approach challenges, Ms. Markova suggests. We
tend to believe that those who think the way we do are smarter than
those who don’t. That can be fatal in business, particularly for
executives who surround themselves with like-thinkers. If seniority and
promotion are based on similarity to those at the top, chances are
strong that the company lacks intellectual diversity.

“Try lacing
your hands together,” Ms. Markova says. “You habitually do it one way.
Now try doing it with the other thumb on top. Feels awkward, doesn’t
it? That’s the valuable moment we call confusion, when we fuse the old
with the new.”

AFTER the churn of confusion, she says, the
brain begins organizing the new input, ultimately creating new synaptic
connections if the process is repeated enough.

But if, during
creation of that new habit, the “Great Decider” steps in to protest
against taking the unfamiliar path, “you get convergence and we keep
doing the same thing over and over again,” she says.

“You cannot
have innovation,” she adds, “unless you are willing and able to move
through the unknown and go from curiosity to wonder.”

2008...has come forth with yet another test for me.  My longterm temp assignment, which was supposed to turn perm, has ended due to cutbacks.  Seems to be the story around the city though as I hear of other friends changing jobs and/or assignments beign cut back 

But surprisingly im not that sad about it.  It doesn't affect me so mentally that I will be detered =)

It does thwart all that i have pledged to do thus far, esp wtih school.  I am a bit anxious...well who wouldn't be, seriously?  But I know another job will come.  I did manage to save enough for a full first semester so I'm really happy about that at least! and every little bit will add to it as the year progresses.

 

Life...is still great so far.  And the sun has come out today!  Not bad...

 

 

Onward march.  Hee!