My friend Eddie raised a good point about why men with means these days tend to be scared by the word marriage and commitment, especially in this big city with such abundance in choices for mates (and play).
One article I read recently stated that most men are not afraid of the idea of marriage or commitment. They rather are afraid of commiting to and marrying THE WRONG PERSON. We in the Gen XYZ0123...demographic find it harder economically to live a fairly well-off life and resources are harder to earn. Committing precious time and resources in modern society becomes more risky and as we get older and meet people, we can become "burned" and "embittered" by their inhumanity and pettiness in treatment of our goodwill and generosity.
Many have come to think and believe that most people they meet are not worth their time because their time is precious and their benevolence is better given elsewhere to people they feel are worthy of their stature. Have we all gotten so arrogant that we are all becoming the snobs and assholes we once hated and scoffed about? Have we instead of rebelling against cruelty towards our fellow human beings that we have become the embodiment of social cruelty ourselves? It is tempting to take the easy road of conforming to social norms and expectations, but I urge each man to make up their own mind about what norms they choose to dictate their success in life.
What do commitment-phobes have against the many men and women who married and are in committed, happy relationships? Do they think the married folks are all suckers and fools for locking themselves in and depriving themselves the freedom to fuck around and have "options" and variety? (BTW, isn't dating supposed to teach someone to be faithful rather than an exercise on how to be unfaithful?) Do they even believe in the possibility of "Happily Married"? Is it because they either did not bother to hang around happy couples and married people and have only their fellow single and possibly clueless peers to base their role models from?
If they say "Once you get married, your life as a happy, independent man is over.", then they are already setting themselves up for disappointment because the negative expectation is there. They fail to focus and see the advantages of having the trust, loyalty, companionship, mutual support, and combined effort that multiplies a person's potential when they partner with someone they love. If life is so horrible as a married man, then why is marriage even possible for men to agree to? Monogamy works, unless your agenda is to mate all your life but bear no fruit. Might be fun while that lasts, but it gets old, and so do you. Remember the term "Dirty Old Men?" That's your future and your only legacy if you don't play your cards right and with a sense of urgency to an honest look at your life goals.
My story? I had spent most of my twenties single and had the fortune of seeing most of my same-age friends in long, committed relationships before they settled down to build a marriage. I had also seen them in other short, passionate and profound relationships prior to them finding someone they found compatible with who they are. I spent many countless occasions being the 3rd or 5th wheel at gatherings and events with them, and though I do sometimes feel envy and lonely, I was able to talk to my friends and ask them why they like staying together and what makes it work for them. Sometimes the answers surprised me, and it allowed me to see past the superficial, the monetary or physical desires that drive attraction but a deeper meaningful bond that only time and understanding between two adults can foster.
My answer to finding the "Right" person is simple and unoriginal: IF YOU NEVER TRY, YOU NEVER KNOW. The first step is throwing conventional prejudices out the window, and ALWAYS see someone you meet and may be interested in with an "INNOCENT until proven guilty" state of mind. Forget who they were and what they did in the past. Once you take them out on a date, it is a clean slate. Only then can you see for yourself whether you like spending time with them once, twice, and more until you literally can't imagine your life without them in it with you.
Commitment-Phobia is a scapegoating excuse for not giving yourself and someone else a chance to understand, learn, and make new experiences and beliefs together. Commitment-Phobia is a false comfort-zone that cripples the soul and smothers courage to have faith in other people. Blame circumstance, blame economics, blame greed, blame everything and everyone for not aligning the stars and karma for dealing you a time and place not of your choosing. Blame anyone except yourself for holding your perfect life just out of reach, and there you will stay.
With so many great people in the world to meet and know, yes, you only have this one life to live.
But when will your life move on into the next stage and your life story continue unless you have someone to care about and someone who cares enough about you to carry on with the best of you in their memories when you are gone? A 45 year old living like he had when he was 23? Is that something to admire or does living 22 whole years exactly the same way as a 23-year old seem somehow sad and disgusting because that life never allowed itself to become something more?
I believe we all can find someone, maybe even not only just one in a lifetime, but open yourself to what is possible, and help it happen. It is up to you to try and up to you if you don't. Whatever happens or does not happen is the responsibility you bear alone. Rejection is only a result, not a state of being. Its frequency only measures how you grow from mistakes and understanding its lessons. Try, and you will know.
Behind overcoming every fear, is the excitement and joy of being able to do it.
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**no one year should be the same...one should always strive to add at least a few new things/experiences to broaden urself. Change can happen in as little as one yr***
I'm so THRILLED for her...! 
its the year of CHANGE...
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